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Working Mom Vs Stay-at-home Mom: The Eternal Debate

Nisha Joshi
Written by Nisha Joshi
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Every mother has a big question before herself after a baby: “Should I continue with a job or not?” In fact, most mothers would just love to work part-time. But in India, you either have to work full-time or stay at home. There are minimal part-time options, and those that are available are very low-paying.

Of course, there are plenty of work from home opportunities today. But the pay is variable. And most mothers also crave for some adult company apart from other mommies (Yes, they can! And they are not bad mommies!)

But before taking a decision, know the pros and cons of either ways of living.

Benefits for working moms:

For you:

Your child and boss both love you. You love your family, but do not sacrifice yourself at the altar of their happiness. Working also keeps your brain stimulated. You can grow in your career and be in touch with the larger world. Most importantly, your need for some intellectual stimulation is fulfilled.

For your children:

Your baby will not understand the use of the extra money that comes in, but they will see a happier mother. Plus, they learn to savour new relationships. My son loves his daycare teacher to bits and vice versa. In fact, kids are surrounded with more people who love them and that’s great. Kids of working moms also learn to do things on their own quicker.

For your relationship:

When both of you work, it will become easier for your husband to understand what you do all day. He becomes more empathetic and available as a dad. He might also help around the house, or at least hire help to help you.

Drawbacks for working moms:

For you:

Guilt is the most overpowering feeling of being a working mother. Especially on mornings when your child is clinging to you and asking you to stay at home, you feel your job is not worth it. Plus, you always have to be on your tip toes. Spending time with the child becomes taxing, especially if the baby is ill or clingy.

For your baby:

Your baby will miss you. However much others may love him, there will be times when he’d wish he was in your arms.

For your relationship:

Most often, the spark goes out of the marriage when both work. Because at the end of the day, the last thing on your mind is hugs and cuddles. But you can work around this issue by spending quality time with each other after your children have gone to bed.

Benefits for Stay-at-home Moms:

For you:

Watching babies grow is one of the happiest feelings of life. You can cuddle your baby all you want and you know that he’s going to look for you the moment he needs comfort. You won’t miss any milestone, big or small. Your days will be stressful with endless diaper changes and clearing ups, but you’ll end up making some very good friends.

For your kids:

Their most favourite person on Earth is with them. What else could they want? No separation anxiety, no rush in the mornings, no inconsistencies in the daily routine – it’s all heaven from a baby’s viewpoint!

For your relationship:

Because you take care of the home, there’s no need for your husband to look into domestic matters at all. There are no arguments about who will stay home if the child is sick. You can finish your work before your husband gets home and then both of you can spend some quality time together.

Drawbacks for Stay-at-home Moms:

For you:

Just one word: boredom. If you are really efficient at doing things, staying at home will become torturous than pleasurable. Your work never ends, though at the end of the day, you don’t seem to have achieved much. You might crave to have some outside contact with the world (after hours of Peppa Pig, we understand). Make sure you take out some time for yourself.

For your kids:

In general, kids of stay-at-home moms are clingier than those of working moms. That is natural, considering they have had you around forever to do things for them. Getting adjusted to a preschool might be difficult for your children, too. Try to make them meet as many children as you can. It will help them mingle better.

For your relationship:

If you are bored, then the first thing you are most likely to utter the moment your husband comes home is to take the baby off your hands. Meanwhile, he has had a hard day working and commuting. This situation leads to most tiffs between couples. However, giving him some breathing space and some time to relax should sort out things.

Whatever you choose to do, remember you are awesome and the best mother your child could get!

You might also like – How much women have to micromanage

Happy Parenting!

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About the author

Nisha Joshi

Nisha Joshi

Homemaker, new mother, true punekar, bookworm, blogger, photographer, budding chef, music enthusiast, likes to keep her fingers in many pies!

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