Threenager is a word I heard when my child had just turned one. He was such a good, obedient child that I thought people who complained about the troublesome threes had particularly wild kids or were a blip in the whole fabric of parenting lifestyle.
Before you start berating me, my child is 2.5 now. So there.
Either his “terrible two” phase has started late or he’s become a threenager early (what can I say? Must be the hormones or something!) Either ways, it is becoming worse day by day and we don’t know how to deal with it.
We don’t know how long it will last.
I can never anticipate what will turn out into a full-blown meltdown and when he will be docile. My husband is in a worse situation. He believes that right is right and the others are left. But with the toddler, even shoes don’t work that way. So it’s a great ongoing struggle at our home, always threatening to break out into a war. It’s just a case of who blinks first, most of the time.
But…but…I have come up with coping mechanisms (I’m very good at that!) I can handle these meltdowns like a pro and restore balance in a jiffy (well, not exactly in a jiffy, but you get the point.)
How, you ask? Let’s see!
Hug your baby
When your baby is having a meltdown, it is mostly because they do not know how to handle the situation, and it makes them angry. They do what they know to do – cry, stamp their feet, struggle around and in general, create a scene. When all seems lost (for them), a simple act like hugging can bring out their emotions in a better way. Hugs are a lot of things. They show love, care and a promise of kisses and chocolates. The child is assured that the parents are not going to abandon them just because they had an atypical response to a problem.
This tip is for the parents. Eat chocolate later to relieve yourself from the stress. Otherwise, how are you going to handle another tantrum that’s brewing just a second away? Don’t show it to your threenager, though.
Talk to your baby once she’s calm
Once the tantrum has blown over and the child is (possibly) abashed, try talking to them about big feelings. Anger. Sadness. Hate. All these are natural feelings and there’s no need to suppress or hide these feelings. Show them the right way to get an outlet to these feelings. Tell them what’s wrong and what’s right.
Give them independence
There is a thin line between independence and indulgence. If you feel your child is doing something really wrong (like shoplifting), tell them gently but firmly that it is wrong to do so. But if it is something minor (like wearing a shirt inside out), let it go. Minor independences make them more confident to try. In fact, they can even surprise you by doing their best!
Make them laugh
Children like goofiness in all avatars. Become a joker for them when you sense dark clouds gathering. Tumble around. Tickle them. Let yourself be tickled and poked. Make silly faces. Whatever works for you, do it. It makes kids happy and you can let off a little steam.
Oh where would the world be without some booze? I’m personally a teetotaler, but after a tiring day, I can get drunk on even soft drinks! Take some time out, bring out the wine and the decanters. Enjoy!
You can also try to these me time activities to relax!
Whoever said parenting was easy never had a child. I’d love to see a mother of a three-year old looking fresh and perfect. It’s usually frazzled faces and hair.
Try these tips – hugs really work wonders. Tell us what you do/did when your threenager has a tantrum. Spread the knowledge!