“Hey Kashish, how are you?”
“I am doing well. How are you, dear?”
“I am doing great. So, tell me how is work?”
“All is good. Kashish, I saw Viaan the other day and he looks sohealthy, so happy all the time. What is the secret? I am so worried about Rihana. She is Viaan’s age but always screaming, throwing tantrums,constantly having one or the other ailment.”
“Akshata, take a chill pill, dear. You are a great mother. I have seen you juggling between Rihana, Akshat and work so well. It may be just a phase, dear.”
“No Kashish, as I said Viaan is Rihana’s age.”
“That’s not a measuring norm. All kids are different, and behave differently, even if they are in same age groups. You shouldn’t compare. However, may I still ask you a question?”
“Yes, of course. Please go ahead.”
“How much time are you spending with Rihana? I know you have a very hectic schedule.”
“Not much, dear. I come home, very tired. Then, I have to make dinner. I feel like going off to sleep without eating anything.”
“I can totally understand. But, you know what, spending quality time with Rihana would be the best way, to witness change in her.”
“Why? Is it so important?”
“See, what is exactly Quality time? Time that you spend giving your full attention to your kiddo, without having to deal with other things at the same time. Right? So, when you do this, it affects your kid very positively.”
“So, you’re saying, if I spend more time with her, her tantrums and irate behavior will reduce? Really?”
“I really believe so. When a kid throws tantrums, it is really just an appeal to get your attention. They feel they are not getting enough of you, and as they want you to focus only on them, they will try all sorts of antics to make you do that. You need to understand this, and spend more time with your kid. Let me tell you, in how many ways does a parent-child quality time affect the child.”
1. Improves their Self-esteem and Self-worth – When you spend more time with your kid, it will make him/her feel that he/she is also an important part of your life, thereby increasingtheirself-esteem.
2. Understanding your kid’s strengths and areas of improvement – The more quality time you spend, the more you understand their strengths and weaknesses. Accordingly,appreciatingthem for their talents and working on their areas of improvement will help them develop as a confident adult.
3. Developing the bond – When you spend valuable time with your kid, you both develop a bond that your kid will treasure all his life. In times of difficult situations, failure, pleasures, success, it is you, whom he/she will want to share everything first, and seek advice.
4. Parents’ love has no replacement – There is no other person who can replace the love that you yourself can give to your child. No one else will love your child as unconditionally as you can. When you spend more time with your child, this love is reciprocated, as the child feels it. A child who knows he/she is loved is a happy child, and will have lesser events of irate behavior.
5. Good Manners and Habits – As your bond develops, the possibility of your kid listening to your commands and acting on them increases. They will obey you as they know you love them, and they no longer need to resort to tantrums to get attention.
“Wow! You know what… I had never really thought about this so much. I realise this is important, but how can I do this with managing my home and work? It’s already so difficult.”
“You could try one of these things. Let me know if this works.”
1) Take help from your kid while cooking or baking. Kids just loveto help their moms. Keep the conversation going on such as how was her day or share with her how your day has been.
2) Take your kid along with you, when you go to be vegetable market or the supermarket. It could involve spending slightly more time than usual. But, it’s worth it.
3) Encourage and work on their hobbies. You can make craft or some project work together.
4) When you come home, play with them with toys, puzzles. Sing along rhymes, songs with them.
5) Avoid turning on the TV in the evenings, till your kid is in bed. Rather chat with him/her.
6) On your days off, take your child to the nearest play park, or a ground for free play or cycling.
7) You can also arrange play-dates on Saturdays or Sundays.
“This list looks very interesting and encouraging. I am going to work on these from today itself. Thanks a million.”
So dear mommies, Do spend time with your kids, however much busy you are. They are going to grow up really fast, and before you know it they’ll be flying out of the nest on their own. Grab these small moments of joy while you still can!
Do let us know if you’ve implemented any of the tips above, and if it has been useful. It would be so great to hear the changes that you notice, after implementing these tips.
Till then, Happy Parenting!!