Yes, I told you I was reading more about being a minimalist and about how I would apply to my relationships. Here is how I would be doing it –
To understand and apply minimalist approach to relationships, you need to be absolutely confident about yourself. You need to be sure what you want in life, how you want it, what are your priorities and what are your regrets.
What does your personality say?
I am mostly a solo person – my relationship quota is very limited. I cannot carry more than restricted number of relationships. It becomes overwhelming after a certain point of time and there is a possibility of break down. I was not aware of this facet of my personality earlier. It was a task to complete all the expectations of all the people around me. But when I become aware and decided to put my foot down and say yes to only few select relationships, life became much easier. You need to identify what your personality trait is – are you a people person or a solo person, how many relationships can you manage successfully. Then select your most important relationships and concentrate on getting more value out of them, rather than running behind a number.
Too much noise?
Sometimes too many relationships just results in too much noise, too many opinions, too many decisions, too much chaos to bear. Whenever this happens, its time to cut down, its time to start saying no to commitments, events, meet ups, etc. It is absolutely ok to cut down, because you are the most important person for yourself and if you will not listen to your gut then who will? Removing one unnecessary relationship can make you feel grateful about the other amazing people you have in your life. Identify the genuine friendship from convenient friendships and work on these genuine friendships more.
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you
This is a quote from the book ‘The minimalist’ and is one of my favourites. All it means is you cannot change how people behave around you, all you can do is change your reaction to their behaviour. Identify that one unwanted relationship, where all you here is criticism. Now deliberately stop reacting to nasty comments. You will see the problem is easily solved by just ignoring or modifying your reaction to the issue.
What about family?
You will obviously observe that we can do all these things for friends but you cannot choose family. There can be a core sub-circle in your bigger circle of family. You can focus on most important people in your core circle. You can still enjoy with others but you need not be burdened with what they have to say about each and everything you do. The crux is to make awesome memories with them to last lifetime.
The result you achieve are all intentional relationships and not the ones you drag. So you are ready to put all the energy you have to make them work. When is the last time you have given some deep thought to the relationships around you? Are you ready to take these tough steps? Let me know what you think.
I will be taking these tough steps to put important relations into limelight and push other relations into back seat. Wish me luck!!