Few years back when I saw Chak De, Shahrukh’s Coach Kabir Khan was loved by all of us! But one specific dialogue stuck with me – ‘Ek team mein ek hi gunda ho sakta or iss team ka gunda mein hun‘ (‘there can be only one boss in each team and the boss of this team is me’).
We make a lot of noise about how the home works on partnerships, husband should share equal work load, take part in household decisions and everything. In my opinion, yes they should share the workload, shouldn’t there be only one ‘ghar ka gunda‘ and shouldn’t that be us? (I mean being the expert and all, yeah, obviously :-)!!)
I am sure this will come as a surprise to most of you. ‘Humaari kaun sunata hai?’ you will say. We have all been in the rut doing a thankless job for many years. We have been getting training from our mothers and using it to manage the house after our marriages. So how exactly being the boss is different? Will there still be the entire household workload to be completed by us? Will there be still no time for ourselves?
You have to take charge and do the following things –
If there is a one person who is doing the above things, then there is a system to the house. The entire house starts speaking the same language. The systems start giving the expected results. Even the members of the house may become proactive if they know what is to be done after what. There are lesser mess-ups and lesser confusion. This order simplifies our lives to a large extent.
But again the stress is on the fact that only one person can be the boss of the house. Two people running the show as per their own rules generally mess it up.
Let’s understand this can be achieved:
Planning is the core of any well planned execution. You want to have a great day, plan the night before. You want to have great week, plan the weekend before. You want to have a great month, plan it early. This is the only rule.
You can maintain a diary or do it on your mobile scheduler. Make a list of all the jobs to be completed in the next week. Check whether you might be expecting any guests or any of the family member might be going out. Accordingly you can plan the house work as well as the meals. Grocery planning can be done along with this activity so that you get a Sunday to buy everything you need for the week.
Discuss this planning with the members of the family so that if they have any suggestions they can let you know. Involving them ensures better participation from them at the time of execution. Ensure that all their needs and preferences get adjusted in the plan for the week. You will need the best understanding of your family members for this.
Your husband can take up a large chunk giving him the satisfaction of contributing to the household work. The kids need to take responsibility of their own jobs. They love to take part in completing certain household chores so give them activities they will be able to manage on their own.
Some part of this delegation might be to an external help – maid or gardener or laundry person, etc. Of course, you yourself will also take some responsibility in this entire planning. Because ‘delegation of work works only if the person delegating works too‘ :-)!!
When you delegate the work, you delegate the authority and not the responsibility. So, delegation will work only if there is appropriate review of things completed – whether they correctly done, whether they were completed on time and by the person who was supposed to do them.
This review is necessary to understand whether any changes need to be made in the processes or whether the work should be done by someone else. However, in case of household work the review has to be done very smartly without hurting anyone’s sentiments.
So in fact the entire ‘Being a boss’ process has to be handled very carefully and diligently by women who are smart enough not to hurt anyone in the family and looking after the need of the others.
All the members need to be involved in the decision making process for household work, but the final decision has to be taken by one person after considering suggestions of everyone. This will definitely help achieve more efficiency in day to day working and you would definitely be able to generate more me time on daily basis.
Do you agree or do you have some different views? What system do you follow to ensure that everything works smoothly at your house?