The period of youth is beautiful when you discover “The One” and make him a part of your life. But no journey is smooth. Every bump you encounter, you know something new about the person you are with.
Getting into a relationship is nothing like what is shown in the movies (oh Bollywood! You misleading fellow!) You just don’t fall in love and get married and live happily ever after.
There are certain things every girl must know before getting into a relationship. If you didn’t know them when you got into one, assimilate this and pass it on to your daughters and nieces. Because they must be informed, mustn’t they?
1. Only you make you
Always remember that you are not defined by anybody – not your boyfriend/girlfriend, not your husband. Your personality and your traits are what make you unique. Do not change yourself for anyone or anything. I know, this is easier said than done. Everyone, especially women, have the habit of adjusting “just a bit” until they can hardly recognize themselves. Often, they are forced to do things they don’t like. In no relationship should you feel suffocated. If you do, it is not worth it.
2. Keep friends and family in touch
Once you fall in a relationship, it is very easy to distance yourself from friends and family. Don’t ask me how it happens, it just does. We slowly start ignoring our friends and family. If you are conscientious about them, you might call them once in a while in a formal way. Because who has the time to talk with others when you want to just talk all day with your BAE?
Please don’t do this. Keep in touch with your friends and family. In case you have a breakup, they are the ones you can fall back on. Or even if your boyfriend is the best person on Earth, it doesn’t hurt to keep a few good people in your life, does it?
3. There’s no happily ever after
The chances of your first relationship culminating into marriage is very low – as less as 2%. Don’t blame yourself, how are you supposed to judge people when you don’t know anything at all? A long time relationship or marriage takes at least three to four relationships before you settle down.
4. Love hurts
It is an oxymoron, but it is the truth. Love is not all glossy and smooth. It is bumpy and full of obstacles. You spill your innermost secrets and desires to the person you love. It brings you closer. But it also makes you more vulnerable. Find a balance between your heart and mind. You can be close to a person but still protect yourself from getting hurt.
5. He’s not your property
Just as you aren’t his. While you may feel stabs of jealousy of your boyfriend talks to other girls, it is not correct to try to control him. If you start doing so, you will end up nagging him, leading ultimately to a breakup. Try giving him his space and more importantly, trust him.
6. Love cannot change someone
It is a very common misconception that a person will change after marriage or after getting in a relationship. It is absolutely not true. It is impossible to change a person just by falling in love. So girls, bad boys will remain bad boys. They won’t change. Sorry to burst your bubble!
I wish someone had told me these things before I got into my first relationship. I doubt I’d have listened to them. The hormonal rush and the high from love play havoc with your brain, don’t they? You can’t think clearly, let alone take the right decisions!
No worries. Everyone should get their heart broken at least once. It is a valuable life lesson. And a stepping stone in life.
What else do you think should a girl know before getting a boyfriend? Tell us here!